I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I can’t explain how I feel, why I feel that way, what caused it, how long i’m gonna feel that way…… anything. I feel drained of all the emotions in my body. I can’t feel anything and I don’t know why. It just hit me like a wave all of a sudden. It was so intense that I don’t even know how to put it into words. I’m just so tired and empty. I feel nothing, I don’t want to feel anything. Right now i’m so content with feeling this way too. Lately my emotions are what’s been getting the best of me. Everyday something will make me feel fucking awful, then i’ll get over it in time, but right now….. I just feel absolutely nothing and i’m perfectly fine with that. Just perfectly fine.
You see, I was born with a vagina, but mentally I have a penis.
I don’t believe anymore.
I just don’t understand how you can possibly think that it’s okay to say all these things to me. They’re all so mean and hateful. You say them because you’re mad at me, then five fucking minutes later you come up to me and try to apologize and expect me to just accept it and move on. Well guess what, that’s not how it fucking works. This happens everyday and I can’t deal with it anymore, i’m so sick of it. You always threaten that one day you’re just going to up and leave us, and honestly sometimes I just wish that you would, because then at least I wouldn’t have to fight with you every single fucking day. I can’t take it anymore, i’m done.
It meant nothing to you…