December 2010
Skinny Love
Bon Iver
Skinny Love - Bon Iver
I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I can’t explain how I feel, why I feel that way, what caused it, how long i’m gonna feel that way…… anything. I feel drained of all the emotions in my body. I can’t feel anything and I don’t know why. It just hit me like a wave all of a sudden. It was so intense that I don’t even know how to put it into words. I’m just so tired and empty. I feel nothing, I don’t want to feel anything. Right now i’m so content with feeling this way too. Lately my emotions are what’s been getting the best of me. Everyday something will make me feel fucking awful, then i’ll get over it in time, but right now….. I just feel absolutely nothing and i’m perfectly fine with that. Just perfectly fine.
November 2010
You see, I was born with a vagina, but mentally I have a penis.
“You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you didn’t even have a name for.”
—
http://loveinaletter.tumblr.com/post/1722716249/dear-you-youre-adorable-youre-cute-youre →
loveinaletter.tumblr.com
Dear you,
You’re adorable. You’re cute. You’re sweet. You’re funny. You’re my everything.
I don’t care what people say. I don’t care about anything. I don’t care about whether or not love is real, or if we get older and marry or stay young and split apart.
I’m living in the now with you and that’s all that matters.
I do want you forever, but even if we do break up, I’ll be happy that I got to spend a little while in your arms, in your thoughts, and in your heart.
Sincerely,
Me
I don’t believe anymore.
I just don’t understand how you can possibly think that it’s okay to say all these things to me. They’re all so mean and hateful. You say them because you’re mad at me, then five fucking minutes later you come up to me and try to apologize and expect me to just accept it and move on. Well guess what, that’s not how it fucking works. This happens everyday and I can’t deal with it anymore, i’m so sick of it. You always threaten that one day you’re just going to up and leave us, and honestly sometimes I just wish that you would, because then at least I wouldn’t have to fight with you every single fucking day. I can’t take it anymore, i’m done.
It meant nothing to you…
